When you have teenagers, it is only natural to be concerned about peer pressure. After all, you could be concerned about how the influence from other teens might impact your son or daughter.

You probably already know that peer pressure can negatively impact your teen, but what you might not realize is that peer pressure can sometimes be a good thing. Asking yourself these questions can help you determine if your child is experiencing positive or negative peer pressure.

Understanding what peer pressure is can help you talk to your teenager about what to do if they feel pressured to take part in a harmful, dangerous, or illegal activity.

Then you can make a plan for helping your son or daughter with handling influences from their peers.

First, let’s look at what is positive and negative peer pressure.

Is Peer Pressure Always Negative?

You might be surprised to hear that a lot of peer pressure or peer influence is not negative. There are plenty of teens who would undoubtedly say no to drugs or alcohol. Those kids are influencing their peers to do the same. There are also a lot of teens who are into healthy living; they might choose to eat a salad and grilled chicken for lunch, join sports teams, and get all of their homework done. These teenagers often influence or pressure their friends to also adopt healthful habits. They don’t use coercion or force; they just set a good example and become someone that other teens want to emulate.

In addition to friends exerting influence, many teens are also influenced by members of their class or team. For example, if your son or daughter knows that the entire class will forgo the pep rally if there’s misbehavior during a math test, he or she is probably not going to incite their annoyance by cutting up. Some teachers and coaches will take advantage of this type of positive peer pressure by creating consequences that will affect the entire class, though this is controversial.

Is Peer Pressure Negatively Impacting Your Teen’s Self-Esteem?

Negative peer pressure can have a negative impact on your teen’s self-esteem. In some cases, children and teens find themselves overly dependent on their peers because they begin to develop an issue with self-confidence. Teasing from others can cause teenagers to feel as if they aren’t as good as their peers.

If your son or daughter is showing signs of having low self-esteem, peer pressure could be partly to blame.

Low self-esteem is a serious issue that can impact your child or teen in a number of ways. Teens who have low self-esteem may be overly self-critical and hard on themselves.

They may be more focused on their own failure than their successes, or they might be too unsure of themselves to make an effort in the first place. They may allow other teens or adults to mistreat them without standing up for themselves, and they might struggle to cope when they make mistakes or fail at something.

Low self-esteem doesn’t just impact young people, either, and those who suffer from it as a child may continue to have self-esteem issues into adulthood. On the other hand, positive peer pressure, which is also called peer influence, can actually help your teen feel better about himself or herself.

For example, if your teen is surrounded by friends who are positive, kind and encouraging, this can actually contribute to your son or daughter having higher self-esteem.

When possible, it is best to encourage your children to make friends who help them enjoy higher self-esteem and better self-confidence.

Has Your Teen’s Performance in School Been Impacted?

Poor performance in school, particularly for those who have always been good students, can be an indication of any number of issues. One of them is negative peer pressure.

If your son or daughter spends time with other peers who don’t take their schoolwork seriously, then this could impact your teen’s feelings about school.

Teenagers who spend time with others who enjoy school and who work hard while in class, on the other hand, can be positively persuaded to put a focus on their schoolwork as well.

Also, be aware that poor performance in school can be related to more than just negative peer pressure. Teenagers who suffer from anxiety might perform poorly in school, for example, or children who have an attention disorder might struggle to focus and concentrate on their schoolwork.

Your son or daughter’s teachers and a medical professional may be able to help you determine the cause and address the issue if your teem is not doing well in school.

Do You Feel Like Your Relationship With Your Teen Has Changed?

It is only natural for your relationship with your teen to change over the years.

As your son or daughter gets older, for example, he or she might become more independent and may not need your help as often. A child who has a healthy social life and plenty of friends might not need your attention as much as he or she once did. All of these things are natural and positive.

However, it is important to maintain a positive, healthy relationship with your teen throughout all of these stages. Unfortunately, negative peer pressure can actually cause your relationship and communication with your teen to be impacted in a negative way.

He or she might become overly dependent on peers, or his or her attitude toward family or other matters might completely change because of peer pressure.

Positive peer influence, on the other hand, can actually help you develop a stronger relationship with your teen. Your son or daughter can develop communication skills that can improve all of his or her relationships, including with you.

These benefits can actually positively impact your son or daughter’s life in many different ways.

Has Your Teen Picked up Bad Habits?

Teenagers can pick up bad habits from many different places. Leading by example and striving to be a good influence is one good way to prevent your son or daughter from picking up bad habits.

Of course, your teens are influenced by many more people than their parents and the other adults in their lives. Influences from peers can also cause children to pick up bad habits.

You may find that this is most noticeable in teenagers. Teenagers can be particularly prone to picking up smoking, drinking or drug habits, particularly if they have friends who use these substances. Younger children can also pick up bad behaviors and habits from their peers, too, so this is something you should begin paying attention to when your child is still small.

Some of the bad habits that children and teenagers pick up from their peers may be relatively innocent and harmless, such as using swear words and making crude jokes when in the company of other teens.

Others can be dangerous. Be aware of how your kids are being influenced and what types of bad habits they might be picking up.

Watch out for dangerous behaviors such as substance use or risky sexual behavior, and talk to your children about the dangers of peer pressure and bad behaviors.

How Parental Pressure Stacks Up

The good news is that there is evidence that parental approval means more to many teens than peer approval. This means that if your child’s peers are pushing him or her to do something that you’d disapprove of, it’s likely that knowing your stance might stop your teen in his or her tracks. This is particularly true if you and your teen have a good relationship.

You can improve the odds that your teen will confide in you and take your opinion more seriously than the opinions of his or her friends. Spend time together each week. Plan an outing or a ritual for just the two of you. For example, you might take your teen out for coffee every Saturday morning or spend one evening per week working on a project. Let your teen guide the conversation; show him or her that you can provide a listening ear and support, but try to refrain from judgement. Make it clear that your teen is worth spending time with and that you find what he or she has to say to be important.

How to Nip Dangerous Peer Pressure

As a parent of a teen, it’s your job to sometimes make unpopular calls that your child might not appreciate. If you think that he or she is being negatively influenced by a peer, it makes sense to first talk to your teen, then to enact boundaries that will keep your child safe. Forbidding contact with certain friends is usually a recipe for disaster, so this should only be an option if your teen’s safety is at stake. Otherwise, encouraging the teens to hang out at your house and making it clear to your child that certain activities are not allowed can help. Teens often appreciate boundaries, even if they act as though they do not.

Parenting a teenager is difficult and worrying about the influence that your child’s peers may have is often par for the course. Knowing that you have a larger influence over your teen and that peer pressure can be positive, not just negative, is the key to staying calm and not letting stress take over your relationship with your child.

Conclusion

Peer pressure is not always a bad thing; in some cases, it can actually be a positive thing. It is important to keep an eye on how your teens are being impacted by peer pressure.

Then, you can help guide your children in the right direction. For example, you can talk to them about choosing the right friends, and you can help them learn how to handle bad situations and say “no” when necessary.  Learn more about how to help teens deal with peer pressure.

There are also professional resources that you can make use of if you need help with guiding your teen. Talk to your teen’s pediatrician or your family doctor if you have concerns about how friends are impacting your son or daughter; you might need a referral to a mental health specialist, who can help them put their friendships and peer interactions into perspective.